Something tells us that you guys did some last minute shopping on Mother’s Day. Well, we’re hoping you don’t drop the ball this Father’s Day! By Father’s Day you should have a little something nice wrapped up for dear old dad dad, especially if he’s someone who’s difficult to buy for.
Want to know what not to get Dad for a Father’s Day gift? Memorize the following and then commit to avoiding each and every one of these major fail Father’s Day gifts. Unless of course, Mother’s Day was a disappointment then all bets are off.
1) THE TIE:
Really, does dad need another tie? Probably not. And even if he needs one, I’m going to let you in on a secret. He doesn’t want one for Father’s Day. A tie for a Father’s Day gift is the equivalent of an iron for a Mother’s Day gift. (Unless you wanted an iron. And if you did, we need to talk.) Just say no to the tie.
2) WORLD’S GREATEST DAD T-SHIRT:
I can’t be the only one who remembers the man who was arrested in an underage sex sting when he went to meet what he thought was a 14-year-old girl wearing a World’s Greatest Dad shirt. I’ll never look at anything with “World’s Greatest Dad” printed on it the same way. But even if nobody else is scarred forever, I promise you Dad doesn’t want a World’s Greatest Dad t-shirt for a Father’s Day gift. Or a mug. Or a pen. You get the idea.
3) SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR:
Ladies, this isn’t reciprocation time for those lacy undergarments that your guy gifted you with at Christmas. I’m sure it was embarrassing to open that in front of your in-laws, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we know that his intentions when he buys you a little somethin’ somethin’ from Victoria’s Secret are not the same as yours when you wrap up a package of undershirts and a new collection of boxers. I don’t care if they’re from the Gap — we’re still talking about boxer shorts. And I understand that you’re probably dying to replace his years-old collection, but don’t make your Underwear Improvement Project a Father’s Day gift. Trust me. New socks and underwear do not say, “You’re an awesome dad to my kids!”
Okay, not just any books. Avoid insulting books, such as The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Fatherhood. It’s probably funny and it likely has some good information in there, but Father’s Day isn’t the time to give the gift of a “how not to be a bad dad” book. If you’re tempted to buy a book like this, I encourage you to ignore my advice above and stick with a tie or t-shirt. Nothing says, “You’re a great Dad!” like “You’re an idiot of a father!”
5) A CERTIFICATE FOR A “BACK MASSAGE” FROM MOM:
Alright, so Dad would probably like this one. But little kids ask questions and older kids aren’t as naive as you think. Unless you want your 10-year-old rocking herself to sleep while sucking her thumb on Sunday night, save the clever certificate for sexy time until after the kids are in bed. And at that point, do you really need the certificate?
Shameless Happy Head Plug! Here it goes:
Yes, I know you’re thinking we’re a little biased. We are actually a lot biased. We think a massage is one of the best gifts you can give your dad on Father’s Day. You won’t believe what some Dad’s wouldn’t do just to get an hour of peace and quiet and enjoy a relaxing massage. Let him relax with a nice Swedish massage or even better, get him a 4 hands massage for the ultimate gift. Say NO to crappy gifts this year. Give daddy a gift he’ll enjoy. Book him an appointment today before all spots are gone.